A Series of Bloomers
by Gamer
Summary: I Blame the Mage who uses Crystals to summon forth Shadows for this


**For Homura's Harem**

**Classroom**

Madoka opened her eyes and looked around. Strangely she was in a classroom, in the middle of a plain field with soft grasses. "Where am I?"

"Classroom." Deadpanned the girl on her right with a boyish cut hair except for a bang with an X shaped clip.

"But aren't I supposed to be on a higher plane of existence effectively rendering me as a nonexistent?"

A giggle was head from behind and an orange haired girl with hair clips that she fashioned as the roman numerals 'XXII' answered her, "Then welcome to nowhere."

"I still can't believe that you are me." Exclaimed the blue haired emo boy to the orange haired girl.

Madoka blinked at this. What did he mean by that?

A door appeared from nowhere and a girl appeared saying, "Hello, I'm Yurie, I'll be your sensei here in god's school. And before we start, mind telling me how you became gods or goddesses?" She pointed at Madoka.

"Self sacrifice." Stated a confused Madoka.

"Same." Deadpanned the girl on the right.

"god's school?" frowned the orange head.

"But I." Started the emo.

"Didn't"

"Become"

"A"

"god"

"I"

"Became"

"A Messiah"

Madoka felt a headache coming. How could a boy and a girl speak like one person?

"It's nearly the same." Reasoned their teacher.

"Self Sacrifice." Both said.

Yurie-Sensei blinked. "Wow, Self sacrifice was becoming a criteria these days."

The Orange one piped up, "What about you, Sensei?"

"Technically I don't know, I just woke up and became a god, though I have an inkling feeling that I am a goddess of high school students or something."

.

**Fluke**

"So you two are actually the same person but due to some fluke in the time/space continuum, half of the realities that you were in resulted in the opposite gender?" Madoka clarified.

"Yes." Silently answered the emo boy.

"I blame the Norn Sisters for that." Said the orange haired girl.

Somewhere in another universe, Urd, Belldandy, and Skuld sneezed.

.

**Work or Boredom**

Madoka and the girl sat at … Nowhere, drinking tea.

"You're the lucky one, Lain. You don't have to do anything." Madoka stated.

Lain shook her head and replied, "Wrong, boredom is the bane of the immortal."

"But that's better than being overworked. Even now my aspects are freeing Puella Magi."

"You can always take a vacation since time has no meaning."

"How could I do that especially when time has no meaning?"

.

**Holy Grail War**

Kotomine Kirei gazed at the girl before him. "Wait, you're the root itself?"

Madoka answered slowly. "Yes."

Shinji Matou absentmindedly added, "No wonder most homunculi had pinkish hair or a tint of it."

"You boys have been very, very bad with your sisters lately."

The air suddenly felt mind numbingly cold and harsh, and Zouken Matou suddenly remembered why he opposed the Grail War in the first place.

A smile appeared on her lips, "I do hope you children are ready for some spanking."

Pink. The color of horror itself.

.

**Babble**

"Shayakah, you a girsh righ? Right? *hic!*" Kyouko slurred, drunk out of her mind.

Sayaka raised an eyebrow, "Was that even a question?"

"Then ish fine to take yer chash - chastity shince we're both girls." Kyouko giggled.

"WHAT?"

.

**Blink**

"You know, Homura's ability is quite frightening especially if she tried to use tele-frag" Said Mami.

"Tele-Frag? What's that?" Asked an oblivious Sayaka.

Kyouko choked on an apple before she managed to gulp it down with some juice and replied, "Well, imagine this little cherry as you and this apple as Homura."

The cherry suddenly exploded covering the three girl's faces with its remains and on its place was the apple.

"What the …" That was Kyouko.

"Tele-frag, Right?" Deadpanned Homura as she suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

They looked at Homura silently then at the apple then at her again.

Frightening, no?

.

**Love**

At some random nowhere, three girls sat at the bar, drinking despite their underage status.

"I had fallen in love with Alice." Lain voiced sadly. "Unfortunately she didn't return it."

"Homura-chan loves me," Madoka said, holding her liquor quite well, "And I returned it to her."

"What about you?" Lain asked the orange haired girl.

The girl hiccupped, cackled, and then proclaimed, "You all lose! The boys wanted to get in me! The girls wanted to grope me! Everyone loves me!" She then posed, "Laush the toushand ships~!" She then cackled again.

Which was true, in a sense

.

**Timeless Classic**

Sometimes, being a hikkikomori had its advantages. Especially when you have spy cameras on your crush's bedroom.

.

**Author's Note**

"So, mind telling me why is he typing us again?" Asked Madoka, sipping tea.

"He blames the Mage that uses Crystals to summon forth Shadows since that guy ignored his Private Message about giving this drabbles to be added in your Homura's Harem." Replied Lain. "Wait, that was wrong. He was actually hoping that that person would decline so this stuff would be deleted."

"Homura has a Harem?"

"You heard me."

"Then why am I here?" A miniature version of Madoka appeared.

"You're here to make a cameo appearance since your story will take a while to finish, Louise."

"What do you mean? What story?"

"I forgot that you're not a god and thus you do not have omniscience."

"Sigh! Despite my omniscience, he wrote that I am surprised that my little Homu-homu have a harem. At least I still found out due to being everywhere, I mean here."

"Speaking of Omnipresence, did you know that you are pregnant?"

"WHAT?"

"Yes, you are pregnant with a universe in your womb; he'll fully explain it in the other cross over that he was working."

"Ah! You mean the cross over with Meg-"

"No!" Feminized version of X streaked, clamping shut Madoka's mouth.

"Oh~! Hello Aile."

.

**Killer Rabbit**

Cute little Madoka versus a universe destroying abomination. Guess What happens.

The only thing that she's disappointed about was Homura not breaking down into a love struck girl. Though a drooling Homura was still a win in her book.

.

**King's Game!**

"Yay, I'm the King~! I meant the Queen!" Said the flame colored girl as she showed the chopstick with a red dye on it.

The others could only groan.

Looking around, she ordered, "OK! Number Three (Bleep) infront of us!"

The two remaining girls blushed at that and gazed at the lone guy who chuckled and said, "Sorry but I'm Number One, and I doubt that the two could even do what my other self ordered."

.

**Expy**

"Damn you Homura! Damn you! I'm supposed to be Emiya's Expy not you!" Sayaka roared.

"You? What about me? I can Launch a hundred blades!" Oriko stated.

.

**Tsundere's Prince**

"Upon your summoning, I have come forth. I am asking you, are you my … wait, I know this!" Sayaka said as she looked down at the pig-tailed girl. "You're Tohsaka, then that means I'm Archer! I really am an Expy of Shirou! Whoohoo!"

"…What?"

.

**Honor Bound**

"Upon your summoning, I have come forth … wait a minute, why am I a Saber Class?" Mami asked no one in particular as she gazed at the cowering Shirou, "I use muskets and it's a ranged weapon! I should be Archer!"

"Um … Excuse me, why are you cosplaying at my home?"

.

**Flash Step**

"Upon your …" Homura took a look around and stopped time suddenly as she felt a creepy old guy and a young bastard at her sides while she saw the once Tohsaka Sakura kneeling in exhaustion on the ground. Thinking quickly she placed incendiary bombs everywhere, from the basement to the rooftop and the surrounding grounds as well before she carried Sakura to a safe distance and resumed time. If she's in the Worthless Grail War then she'll be damned before she let any of those two touched her precious Madoka.

"E-eh…? What happened?"

Two down two more to go.

.

**Blade on a Stick**

Bazette looked and saw a girl eating a Taiyaki holding the spear on her shoulder.

"Want some?"

.

**Roaring Rampager of Love**

After killing everyone, Sayaka looked at the tiny girl who rubbed her bloodied cheek; she then leaned close and hugged the pale pink haired girl.

All the Homunculus needed was love.

"You're crushing me!"

Well, ok. But not too much.

.

**The Truth behind the Scheme**

"The Grail War is idiotic anyway, so why would you allow them to be summoned?" Lain asked as they watch the summoned servants back at Earth.

"I agree on that since it just bastardized magic but there is no war here and Homu-chan is a one woman army all by herself and with Sakura empowering her. She can stop time nearly indefinitely." She then took a sip of her tea as they floated in nowhere. "Besides, I designed the True Grail for me to have a loop hole in my wish."

"A vacation?" Lain clarified.

"Yup." Replied Madoka.

.

**Cease Fire**

All of the girls sat at some coffee shop.

"I want Madoka."

"Yuma and I just want to be together, and with Soichirou we're one big family." Oriko replied.

"I don't really care about this war and I highly doubt that Madoka would want any of us killing each other." Kyouko replied, eating the cake with violent fervor.

"I agree on that one, but I still wonder why I'm Saber."

"Well, it could be that we look up to you like the others did with Shirou, and you're honorable. Though I'm wondering why there are two of me …"

Berserker Sayaka growled her body ever present with fresh blood, frightening some of the tenants. "I blame you for the position that I am in. But I like Illya."

"Well, in unanimous vote and just sheer carelessness about this war, the grail will go to Humora-chan."

.

**Powerless Government**

On the other table some of the masters just growled at this.

"Who said that any of you have a say in this?" Rin spoke; all five of them got dragged by their servants. And just to add insult, all the command spells doesn't work.

"No need to shout, Rin." That was Shirou.

"And I'm quite mad that I can't kill you, Onii-chan." Roared Illya before being pacified by a pat on the head courtesy by Shirou.

"Aw, you're little girl is so cute." Squealed Sakura, not minding the slightest about her bunt home due to two some ones being dead; how did Homura extracted her grandfather out of her was a mystery though.

"But I didn't know that I had one."

A few people gazed angrily at Shirou clearly and horribly misunderstanding his words. Bazette herself was tempted to smack him.

Rin – Archer

Sakura – Rider

Shirou – Saber

Illya – Berserker

Bazette – Lancer


End file.
